"It's a lot of people's first and last weed smoking experience. I either get you started or I retire you."

"I think a lot of filmmakers make these weird little movies, and aren’t aware that…they’re making weird little movies!"

"But like on Freaks And Geeks, he was a really active person, busy doing something all the time." (on James Franco)

"I’m a complete coward in real life."

"Uh, stay fat, people. That’s my motto. It’s no picnic!"

"When we thought about making a movie, it wasn't like we needed to show exactly what we went through." (on the film 50/50)

"I don’t watch porn with dialogue. I’m far beyond that. I watch the down and dirty stuff."

"Yeah, there have been porn stars in literally every single movie I’ve ever been in, so it was not weird to work with them."

"I’ve been exercising — it sucks, I hate it. I hate what I’ve become."

"I’ve been eating right and dieting. It’s such a lame answer — no one wants to hear that."

"I think almost any guy is redeemable, yeah - if you haven’t done anything truly terrible."

"I'm still scared of monsters, for God's sakes! When my girlfriend goes out of town, I sleep with the TV on."

"I was in Canada, but we had Yuk Yuk's there, a chain of comedy clubs, so I'd perform there."

"I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying to do stand-up."

"What's amazing about Judd is how open the set feels--you can do no wrong, which is nice."

"Well, having no real skills, I always try to play characters close to myself."

"I always try to be truthful to kind of what's going on with my life and my friends and my experiences."

"My life wasn't that R-rated back then, I guess."

"Bachelor Party is a movie I always really liked. It's pretty dirty for a Tom Hanks movie, especially."

"I have become a giant fan of the testing process, especially with a comedy."